Here’s the thing about Anna… she is fierce. One of the definitions of fierce is “showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity” and I believe that describes Anna perfectly. Anna loves people with all her heart and soul, she truly and genuinely cares and loves people inside and out. She lives life with a purpose, not only that but every action she does has a purpose behind it. When she speaks she doesn’t say what she thinks people want to hear, but she says what she truly believe and knows to be true. She does everything for God’s glory. She’s far from perfect and she admits it, but she doesn’t let that hold her back. I have watched her grow, struggle, laugh, cry, sing, dance, and transform into a phenomenal  woman in the past two years, and I can say I am truly honored and proud of call her my best friend and sister.

So without further ado, here is the stunning Anna Westbrook…

One of the great things about Downtown is the natural light there is amazing! Seriously, the way the light goes down certain alleys, how it illuminates the walls, it makes for some awesome portraits. Plus there are so many different spots that no two portrait sessions Downtown look alike! Really, it’s just a fantastic spot to do session.

Joshua is a senior at Waterford High School. He is an active member of WATERFORDrama, one of my brother’s best friends, a hilarious person, like a younger brother to me, and is an amazing person in general. It’s crazy to think he’s a senior already! Joshua is looking to major in theater, specifically in playwriting which I think is phenomenal!

I’m so excited to see what senior year is going to be like for you, Josh! And I can’t wait to go see one of your shows that you write when you’re a world renowned playwright someday!

This is my cousin Lucy. She is a senior at Stonington High School, just turned 18, and is one of the most amazing young women that I know. Honestly I don’t think I can name many people who are as fantastic as she is. I can barely remember my life without Lucy, even though I was four years old when she was born. We have been through so much together, I really don’t know what my life would be without her.

We celebrated her 18th birthday this past weekend and all I can really say is I am so proud of her! She is smart, gorgeous, hilarious, athletic, artistic, spiritual, and just an overall amazing person. One thing about my family is that we are all very close, I mean very, very close. All of my cousins don’t feel like cousins to me, just more siblings. And I can honestly say Lucy feels like not only my little sister, but one of my best friends. I know wherever she goes for college, she is going to do just amazing, amazing things and become one of the world’s most beautiful doctors! As someone said on my Facebook page, “Paging Doctor Lucy for Vogue magazine!”

I love you Lucy and I am so, so, so proud of you! And you should be SO EXCITED FOR TWILIGHT THIS WEEK!

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this blog post for three days now… because it’s a hard one to write. I am probably (absolutely) going to cry writing it, but tears are truth, so… here’s we go… an update on Project HOPE.

I have been back home in Connecticut since Sunday night. Sunday morning at 4:30am while I was in London, throwing up, crying, and overwhelmed with this feeling of  “This isn’t right, I am not suppose to be here,” I decided it was time for me to go home, regroup, reorganize, and plan to return in the spring.

So, what happened…? A lot, actually. I don’t want to go into full details here, because a lot of it is personal and a blog isn’t an appropriate place for me to speak about it, but simply put things just fell through. Living arrangements were changed, meetings were cancelled, flights were rescheduled, all of which changed my plans entirely and made everything more complicated than it needed to be.

The Show & Tell post that I wrote for Monday (which is so ironic because I wrote it a week  before I left for Project HOPE, that’s God in action right there) was about settling and whether or not you would wear underpants that were too small for you… For Project HOPE, I decided I would not settle. It is one thing to be flexible and to go with the flow, but it’s another to be completely and utterly lost and confused as to what your next step would be. So I did not settle. I did not want to feel the nerves and panic every day for almost a month, I did not want to stay at hostels and charge it all to my credit cards because I didn’t have enough in my emergency funds to cover the rates, I didn’t want to feel totally helpless in countries that I had never been before… So I made one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made and decided to go home.

Am I at fault for some of this? Of course. I didn’t make my emergency fund big enough, I didn’t prepare a back up for my back up… but majority of this was out of my hands, so I can’t blame myself, I will not condemn myself.

Plans fall through. Things happen.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason why I flew to England and back in less than 36 hours, and I am already beginning to see those reasons. I stumbled upon this Bible verse on Monday and it has brought me so much comfort to me these past few days and really reassured me that I made the right decision…

“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” // Habakkuk 2:3 

Project HOPE isn’t on pause, it isn’t delayed, it isn’t being reschedule, and it wasn’t cancelled… it is still happening, right now at this very moment Project HOPE is happening. Project HOPE will start here at home, then continue overseas in the spring.

There’s a time and place for everything… and right now, here at home, it’s Project HOPE’s time and place.

Thank you, everyone, for your love and support. To those who have known I have been home, who have supported and agreed with my decision to come home, and who have kept it “secret” until I was ready to make this “announcement”, thank you again. And to those who support me through Kickstarter and helped me fundraise the money I needed for Project HOPE, don’t worry… the moment I got home, I transferred all the money into a savings account and it will not be touched until my next trip in the spring. You have my word about that.

So here’s to the Project HOPE Beta Test… and here’s to looking forward to Project HOPE 2.0 in Spring 2013.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.” // Jeremiah 29:11

We went to Downtown New London for his session, which is one of my favorite locations for photographing headshots! With all the different buildings and architecture in the area, it really is one of the best places around to do headshots.

Break a leg at your upcoming auditions, Josh! You’re going to be fantastic!

With their closest friends and family, Natalie and Marc celebrated their wedding in gorgeous, sunny, fabulous San Juan, Puerto Rico. Between the gorgeous weather, the warm sun, a cool breeze off the ocean, palm trees, and smiles on everyone all day long, it was the most perfect day Natalie and Marc could ask for!

Natalie and Marc, I am SO happy for you two! I love you both so, so, so much and I can’t wait to see what life has instore for you two! Thank you so much for asking me to be a part of your day!!!

(Also, a HUGE thank you my favorite second shooter in the whole world and my best friend Melissa of Melissa Alderton Photography! There’s better than shooting a wedding with your best friend on a beach in sunny Puerto Rico… even if we were both sunburnt!)

After said best and worst year… I am tired. I am exhausted. There’s no other way to put it. My souls is exhausted, my body aches. So many amazing things came out of this past year including Show & Tell, my new found love for dance, a new baby cousin, and of course Project HOPE… but so many bad things happened, too… Losing Sam, losing Stirling, losing my Nana, ending some friendships, falling flat on my ass a few times (sorry for the profanity, but there’s honestly no better way to put it), the list goes on…

But today is the beginning of a new year for me, a beginning of a new year for many of us. I’ve changed so much in the past year, I’ve grown and matured so much… maybe not in the way I had planned or wanted to, but absolutely in the way God planned.

Do I wish things were different? Yes, absolutely. I wish they were still here with us. I wish we didn’t have to go to Sam’s First Angelversary today. I wish that during Christmas break Stirling would be at my house with my friend and all their friends during Christmas break…

But they aren’t… and we have to continue living our lives every day, and we have to continue carrying them in our hearts everyday.

This afternoon my friend Paul said, “Perhaps there is some plan behind it, who knows.”

I truly believe there is… I really, really do. We might never fully understand that plan… But I can say than even out of such sorrow, really amazing things have happened.

So today when I let go of that balloon with a note to Sam attached to it, I also let go of this past year, of the Karen that was in so much pain last year, and of the Karen that had such an amazing past year, of all the exhaustion, aches, pains, and weakness. I let of of last year completely… I gave it to God, to Sam, to Stirling, to my Nana… and I started over. I am ready to start new, to be refreshed, to wake up, I am ready for adventure, to really begin living… and to me, that is hope.

This new beginning is my hope right now. What does hope mean to me? I don’t know for sure yet, and I am sure that will change by the next of next month… but for now, letting go and moving forward is my hope.

What I loved about Bobby and Jessica’s engagement session is that it was completely them; we went to Waterford High School where they started dating and rocked their favorite football jerseys and a UCONN Dunkin Donuts cup, to Harkness where Bobby proposed to Jessica, to Waterford Beach where they spent their summers with their Sperry shoes… Every details, prop, and outfit was 110% true to Bobby and Jessica. Even our trip to Walmart because we forgot scrabble pieces was completely them… trust me, it’s a Schlink thing, forgetfulness is in our genes.

Thanks Bobby and Jessica for spending the day with me! June 22 will be here before you know it! Love you guys!

Sam and I had a great time talking about what classes he is taking (though I think he is taking far too many academic classes for his senior year  ;)), how he and his friends started the Lancer Theatre Productions this fall, and ultimate frisbee and how I am blown away that it’s a professional sport when I can’t even throw a frisbee… Seriously though, I can’t, it’s rather embarrassing.

Thanks for meet up with me, Sam! I can’t wait to see all the student written plays at the Lancer Theatre Productions first “Knight at the Theatre”!